English Composition Sentence revision

Note that you have three tasks:  identify, explain your evaluation, and
revise.  (Revision is more than changing a word or two; revision is
thinking through the entire process)

Read the
following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each
as weak or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then
revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a
strong thesis.

1. The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
2. The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to
prepare for the impending end of oil.
3. Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
4. In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
5. Despite his promises during his campaign, President Kennedy took few executive measures to
support civil rights legislation.

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